


Lemon Boy and Me

by GabriellaSaunders



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-01-12 05:50:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18440327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabriellaSaunders/pseuds/GabriellaSaunders
Summary: Cyrus Goodman and TJ Kippen are close friends. Cyrus has a secret admiration for his friend, though,  and no one, not even his best friends, know about it. Cyrus wants to tell him, but he's afraid it will ruin their friendship. He tries to keep it on the low until he finds out about a new friend TJ has, and realizes how close TJ and that friend are.If only he knew how TJ felt about him.





	1. Swing High, Underdog

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first work on AO3, as I joined only a couple months ago. I've been writing works on Wattpad for a while, but I wanted to try out this website, too. I published this fic on Wattpad and am currently writing it there, but I've decided to revise the existing chapters and post them here. Please bear with me as I figure out how everything works here, and enjoy chapter one of Lemon Boy and Me!

A gush of soothing wind tossed Cyrus' brown hair out of his face, making him smile to himself. The cool breeze was a miracle on such a hot day. It was 28°C that Thursday afternoon, the hottest it had been all year. May had just begun and the weather was nearly unbearable. Cyrus wasn't upset (the usual reason he would hang out at the park, swinging gently to ease his feelings of anxiety and stress), he was just waiting for TJ's tutoring session to be over. 

Checking his watch, he saw that it was 3:48, three minutes after TJ's sessions typically ended. School let out at 3:15. Cyrus would wait at the playground finishing homework, reading, singing to himself on the swings, or just watching traffic move past the school. Since it wasn't quite rush hour, the road wasn't busy, and the area was quiet. Cyrus loved the calm after the storm. The quiet after the flood of hundreds of students loading the buses, getting in their parents' cars, unlocking their bikes from the rack near the school's entrance, making as much noise as possible.

"Hey, underdog!" he heard from behind him. Glancing over his shoulder, he shouted, "Not so scary basketball guy! You're finally done!"

TJ laughed as he jogged up to his friend on the swings. "Yeah, we went a little overtime. Buffy wasn't too happy about it. She's meeting up with Andi at four, something about Cloud Ten. I don't know, I wasn't listening, I was doing equations." TJ ruffled Cyrus' hair playfully.

"You went overtime and it wasn't Buffy's idea? What, do you like math now or something?" Cyrus teased.

"Oh, you're too funny. Believe it or not, I was actually enjoying the lesson. To my surprise, algebra can be interesting at times." the TJ responded, sliding onto the empty swing beside Cyrus. He pushed himself forward and swung as high as he could, to the point where he was parallel with the top of the swing set.

"I really don't know why you never swing high," he called over his shoulder. "Remember when I pushed you and you went higher than you've ever gone before? Don't you want to do that again?"

Cyrus dragged his feet on the ground below him to slow himself down, and looked up at TJ. The blond boy stopped swinging and tilted his head at Cyrus.

"I told you, it's part of my stuff."

"But don't you hate having stuff? Math is part of my stuff, so I got a tutor to help me." TJ raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"I doubt they have tutors for fears of heights." Cyrus' tone was flat, as if to say, duh.

"Uh, yeah, they do, kid," TJ smiled. "although most people call them therapists."

"I think I have more than enough therapy in my life inherently." Cyrus joked.

"Do you?" TJ urged. "Sure, you're related to plenty of therapists. But do you talk to them?"

"Of course I do, they're my parents." Cyrus laughed, and TJ poked him on the forehead.

"You know what I mean," TJ couldn't help but grin at the sound of Cyrus' laugh. "You haven't really talked to them. As a patient."

Cyrus' smile faded. "I just don't think it's a huge problem. I'm afraid to swing high, so I won't." Cyrus explained. "I don't see the issue here."

"How can you not see the issue? Your fear is holding you back. Life could be so much more fun if you would just let someone help you deal with your fears." TJ was basically pleading.

"My life is fine as it is. I don't-"

"Life isn't meant to be fine, it's meant to be an adventure!" TJ exclaimed, cutting the other boy off mid sentence.

"Maybe for you, TJ, but we're different people. You need to open your eyes and realize that not everything is about you." Cyrus was becoming irritated with TJ, and how little he understood.

"That's what I'm doing! I'm doing this because I care about you." 

Cyrus stared into TJ's eyes, not knowing how to respond.

"You're my best friend, underdog." TJ whispered.

Cyrus cast his eyes down. He felt bad for worrying TJ so much, but he didn't believe that he could ever swing as high as his friend on his own. Not when his palms got sweaty and his heart rate sped up and his muscles tensed every time he tried to face his fear.

"You're my best friend, too, TJ." Cyrus replied, and his heart fluttered when his words brought a lopsided smile to TJ's face.

"If you don't want to see a therapist, that's fine. There are different kinds of therapy." TJ stated, standing up and pulling his blue hoodie sleeves halfway up his biceps, and for a split second, Cyrus' mind froze. He snapped out of his trance when TJ offered him a hand. A jolt of electricity shot up the shorter boy's arm when he took TJ's hand He knew his palm was warm and probably a little sweaty because that's the effect that TJ had on him, but he could tell his friend didn't mind. As TJ pulled him up, Cyrus did everything in his power to think about anything but the way the muscles in TJ's arm flexed.

"What kind of therapy do you have in mind, anyway?" Cyrus wondered out loud, not bothering to let go of TJ's hand, because TJ didn't let go, either.

"The kind that involves bathing suits and water slides," TJ laughed and started running, pulling Cyrus along by the hand. There wasn't much pulling on his part, though, because Cyrus was running right beside him.

________________

"Underdog, you ready?" 

Cyrus tossed his bag over his shoulder and walked off his porch and up to TJ.

"Ready as I'll ever be." Cyrus smiled.

"Good, you'll need that kind of confidence for the rest of the day. I assume you've already figured out where we're going." TJ said.

"Yeah, I could tell from the fact that you told me to pack my bathing suit, sunscreen, and snacks." Cyrus laughed. "The water park over in Stevensburg, right?"

"Absolutely right. But I don't recall asking you to bring snacks. I got us covered." the blond boy turned his shoulder, motioning to show that he had them in his backpack.

"Well, I brought some anyway. Everything I have is gluten and peanut free." 

"I expected as much," TJ laughed, which made Cyrus laugh, and the sparkle in TJ's eye had Cyrus questioning how he'd gotten himself into the situation and how he was going to spend an entire day with TJ in nothing but his swimming shorts.

The boys had paid for entry, changed, and stuffed their bags into a locker by nine on the dot. TJ was just stepping out of the bathroom when he saw Cyrus on his phone. TJ grabbed it from his hand and glared at him accusingly.

"Hey! Today is a no-phone day. If I see with this again, it's going in the pool!" TJ tossed the device into the locker and clicked the lock closed.

"TJ, I was using it for something important.” Cyrus protested. 

"Oh, what was it?" TJ smirked.

Cyrus blushed. He had been making a note to pay TJ back for the cost of his admission, even after TJ told him it was fine. 

"Um, definitely not making myself a reminder to pay you later." Cyrus laughed nervously, but told the truth since he was caught anyway.

"I told you I don't want you to! I invited you to come, so I am paying."

Cyrus gave up. "Fine." He remembered his parents saying that the guy should pay when he goes out with someone, but they were both guys. They never told him who pays in that situation.

TJ smiled triumphantly. "Great! Let's go conquer some fears." he said excitedly. and Cyrus groaned, following him out.

By six in the afternoon, they had been to the wave pool twice, been on a multitude of slides, and Cyrus was impressed with himself and the number of slides he'd been able to go on. He did it all with TJ by his side, encouraging him every step of the way.

"Cyrus, you've done really great so far," TJ congratulated him, and Cyrus beamed with pride. "Which is why I want to bring you to one more slide before the park closes." Cyrus hadn't really been paying attention, distracted by a drop of water travelling down TJ's hair, onto his shoulder then his collarbone, and finally trickling down his chest. That brought Cyrus' focus to the way TJ's chest muscles rose and fell as he breathed, and suddenly found that he himself had forgotten to breathe the entire time. 

"Cyrus? Are you willing to go on the slide with me?" Cyrus' head snapped up and he realized TJ was staring at him.

"Uh, yeah, sure," he muttered, his eyes quickly catching sight of another stray drop.

"Okay, let's go," TJ held Cyrus by the wrist and led him to what might have been the scariest thing Cyrus had ever laid his eyes on.

"Oh, no," he whispered, gaping at the purple loop de loop.

"Oh, yes," TJ grinned, pulling his friend all the way up the metal staircase. When they reached the top, Cyrus instinctively latched onto TJ's arm. TJ laughed.

"Don't worry, it's not as crazy as it looks. All you have to do is stand on that platform, they'll count to three, and the platform will open underneath you." TJ smiled, trying to soothe Cyrus, but he didn't think he was doing it very well.

"You’re not going first, are you?" Cyrus squeaked.

"No, I want to be there with you when you go." 

Cyrus felt a wave of relief wash over him, but he still couldn't stop his knees from wobbling. 

"Easy, underdog. You look like you're going to have a heart attack." TJ said softly, placing a hand on Cyrus' chest.

TJ's warm palm on Cyrus' bare skin did not ease him in any way. His heart started beating faster, and he worried that TJ would be able to tell, so he gently pushed TJ's hand away.

"I'm okay. I can do this." he told himself this, but he did not feel like he could do it at all.

They strode up to the platform and the woman standing there smiled.

"You ready, kid?" she asked.

Cyrus nodded weakly. Just before she pulled the lever to open the platform, TJ leaned against Cyrus, his chest pressed against Cyrus' upper back, and whispered in his ear.

"You got this."

Cyrus dropped.

"AAAHHHHH!" he screamed, shooting through the tube, water splashing all around him.

When he reached the loop de loop, he felt himself rise to the ceiling of the tube, then back down. Everything slowed down, and he was released into a pool at the end.

"You did it! You really did it! How does it feel to be the coolest person ever??!" TJ threw his fist in the air, diving into the pool.

Cyrus coughed and sputtered, and TJ tossed his arms around Cyrus and laughed.

"That was wild," Cyrus said, trying to slow his breathing.

"I know! And you did it! You faced your fear!" TJ hugged him tighter, and Cyrus hugged him back, and they stayed there, giggling to each there until the woman at the top whistled and motioned for them to get out of the pool. They jumped out and headed towards the locker rooms.

Cyrus shivered, and TJ put an arm around his shoulder, and everything felt perfect.

At Cyrus' doorstep, TJ grabbed Cyrus' hand, and he turned to the taller boy.

"Meet me at the park tomorrow? No one goes there on Sunday, so we won't have to wait to use the swings.

"Sure," Cyrus smiled, and a long moment passed before TJ let go of his hand and left.

________________

It was a cool Sunday afternoon, much unlike the previous several days, and Cyrus found himself at the swingset with TJ.

"Okay. Now that you've conquered the terrifying slides at the water park, it's time for you to try swinging high again."

"How will going to the water park have magically made my fear of swinging high disappear?" Cyrus asked.

"It was never supposed to make your fear disappear. It wasn't even about the waterslides! I took you there yesterday because some of those slides are real scary. And you know what? You went on the scariest of them all. The point of me taking you there was to show you that you can do anything. Dude, if you can do a loop de loop on a waterslide, you can swing high." TJ said.

"I guess you're right," Cyrus agreed.

"Well, then, what are you waiting for?" TJ grinned. "Swing high, underdog!'

Cyrus sucked in a deep breath, realized he was holding it, then exhaled slowly. He gripped the swing ropes with white knuckles and swung at a normal pace. Slowly and gradually, he increased how high he was swinging at a pace he could handle without freaking out, and soon enough, he was swinging almost as high as TJ usually did. TJ burst into applause.

"You did it! You're amazing!"

Cyrus grinned to himself as the wind whipped against his face.

"I knew you could do it!" TJ exclaimed. " I told you so."

Cyrus laughed. "You always have to be right, don't you?"

"Always," TJ replied. Then, in a voice just above a whisper and more to himself then to Cyrus, he said, "I always knew you could do it."


	2. The New Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TJ accepts a favour he's asked for by his teacher. A team mate of his mocks him at basketball practice, making him doubt his feelings. Cyrus invites TJ over for dinner, and he bonds with Mrs. Goodman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! You better prepare yourself, because you're in for some gay angst. Enjoy chapter two of Lemon Boy and Me!

TJ was just finishing practice when his homeroom teacher walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. TJ spun around, thinking it was Cyrus, and his face fell slightly when he found that it wasn't.

"TJ, I'd like to see you for a minute," his teacher said, and TJ nodded, following the man out of the room. They sat down in his office and faced each other.

"I'm very impressed with your improvement in math class. It seems to me that Buffy is a great tutor." he explained. "But I must also acknowledge that you've been a great student."

TJ sat up straighter with a grin on his face. He thought about how proud Cyrus would be when he told him.

"You've progressed in more aspects than just math, though. Your work ethic is a better, and so is your attitude." The older man smiled. "Which is why I think you would be the perfect candidate to introduce our new student to this school."

"A new student? Cool. Want me to give a tour around the school, or...?"

"Actually, you're on the right track. But I don't just want you to show him around. I think it would be fitting that you stayed with him throughout the day. He's in all of your classes, so you won't be missing anything. It will help him get the idea of your teachers, what the schedule is like, things like that. I'm sure you'll do great."

TJ stood up. "Nice, I'd be happy to do that. Is coming tomorrow?"

"He is, so be ready," his teacher smiled and patted him on the back.

When TJ got back to the gym, he spotted Cyrus sleeping on the bleachers. Chuckling to himself, he shook his head, and headed over to wake up his friend. But when he arrived, he stopped and sat beside Cyrus, just looking at him, admiring his cute boyish features. He brushed Cyrus' fringe off of his forehead, his eyes finding their way to his cheeks, lips, and his long eyelashes that fluttered every now and then as he slept.

TJ swallowed, and he felt his chest tighten. This boy he spent time with every day, who he took to the water park to face his fears, who he'd helped stand up in front of everyone and take the last chocolate chocolate chip muffin, meant so much to him. Sometimes, he thought, even more than just a friend would mean to him. But TJ pushed that thought away, because Cyrus was a boy. And TJ Kippen did not like boys.

A couple of kids on the basketball team ran past and one shouted, "Hey, Teej, is that your boyfriend?", causing the others to laugh. TJ quickly pulled his hand away as they ran off. He then looked back at Cyrus. He was still asleep despite the yelling, and TJ could see his chest rising and falling under his soft black sweater. His teammate's words echoed in his head, and he blocked them out by reminding himself of something very important with one thought:

TJ Kippen does not like boys.

________________

Cyrus woke up to see TJ working on math homework on the bleachers beside him. He didn't say anything at first, and instead let himself drink in how beautiful TJ looked when he was concentrating. His lips were slightly pursed, his eyebrows furrowed, and his hair appeared as if he had been running his fingers through it in frustration.

"Need any help?" Cyrus spoke, causing TJ to jump in surprise, nearly dropping his notebook.

"No, I'm just doing some questions with polynomials. I think I'm starting to finally get the hang of it."

Cyrus smiled. "That's nice," he murmured, and TJ's head snapped up as if he'd just remembered something.

"Speaking of nice, I have good news," TJ began, facing Cyrus. "My teacher asked me to show a new student around the school tomorrow. He's in all of my classes. He also said it's because I'm improving as a student and that I'd be the perfect person to do it." TJ recalled, shamelessly awaiting Cyrus' praise.

Cyrus lifted his head from where it was resting on his arm and his face filled with joy. "TJ, that is so cool! I'm so happy for you!" he exclaimed, and TJ tried to hide the fact that he was blushing, but Cyrus noticed anyway, and it took all of his strength not to sigh.

"Thanks, underdog," TJ grinned and ruffled Cyrus' hair. Cyrus had noticed that TJ had been doing it a lot recently.

"What's his name?" Cyrus asked.

"I don't know, my teacher never said what it was." TJ replied.

"Well, I hope he likes our school," Cyrus said, and rested his head on his arm again, his eyes falling closed.

"Hey!" TJ shook Cyrus' shoulders. "No falling asleep. We've got to go, it's nearly six." he said.

"Oh, really? Wow. I didn't realize we'd been here for so long." Cyrus said. pushing himself up and stretching his arms and shoulders as he did so. "Let's go, then. My mom's making lasagna and I've been waiting for it all day."

"Ooooh, what kind?" TJ wiggled his eyebrows.

Cyrus laughed. "Vegetable. It's my favourite kind."

TJ stuck out his tongue and cringed dramatically, causing Cyrus to laugh even harder.

"Not a fan, huh?"

TJ shook his head with wide eyes. "I hate vegetables and all products that involve them."

"Should I be surprised? Absolutely not. C'mon, let's go, there's a delicious vegetable lasagna with my name on it." he winked at TJ, causing TJ to roll his eyes and laugh.

________________

The two boys arrived at Cyrus' house just as Cyrus' mom was opening the door.

"Finally, Cyrus, you're home!" she squeezed him tightly. "Just in time for dinner. Does your friend want to stay and eat with us?" she asked, looking at TJ expectantly. Cyrus was looking at TJ, too, and TJ smiled.

"I'd love to." TJ answered, not wanting to reject the invitation just because he didn't like vegetable lasagna.

"Wonderful! Come on in!" Cyrus' mother ushered them inside.

The table was already set and Cyrus lightly brushed TJ's hand with his fingers by accident as they walked to it, which made TJ gulp and he felt his stomach flip.

They took their seats beside each other and Cyrus' mom brought in a steaming vegetable lasagna.

"Here you go, boys. Feel free to serve yourself while I grab the other one." she placed it on the table and rushed back into the kitchen.

Cyrus and TJ looked at each other with confusion on their faces. Soon enough, she returned with another lasagna - meat this time - in hand.

Cyrus nudged TJ under the table and TJ grinned.

"I usually make only vegetable lasagna but today I decided to try a new recipe for a meat lasagna, too. And it turned out to be a great choice! Better to have more when there are unexpected guess." she said. She then saw the guilty look on TJ's face. "Unexpected, but not unwanted! I'm happy to have you." She smiled, and he returned it.

"Anyway, it looks great mom." Cyrus commented, scooping a piece of the vegetable lasagna onto his plate.

"Sure does. Thanks for having me over." TJ flashed a toothy smile at Cyrus' mom and she put a hand to her chest.

"My, you are such a polite young man! Why have I never had you over before?"

This was clearly directed at Cyrus, and he shrugged. "I never thought to invite him, I guess," he replied.

"Well, make sure to think from now on." she joked, tapping him on the nose.

"Alright," he laughed. TJ smiled at how cute Cyrus and his mom's interaction was.

After they finished dinner, TJ and Cyrus helped rinse the dishes and load the dishwasher, and Cyrus' mother thanked them when they were done.

"I can walk you home," Cyrus offered as TJ was stepping out the door.

TJ looked back at Cyrus.

"I'm okay, thanks. Goodnight, underdog." he said and walked away, leaving Cyrus alone at the door.

"Goodnight, TJ."

________________

The principal found TJ at his locker on Tuesday morning, five minutes before class started, and introduced him to the new student.

The boy had blond hair, lighter blond than TJ's, and it was parted to the right on his head, falling over his blue eyes. TJ know right away that he wasn't a shy person from the wide, almost flirtatious smile on his face.

"This is our new student," the principal told TJ. "He's very excited to be here. He's told me he likes dirt biking in his free time. It seems like you two would get along quite well." The boy stuck out his hand and TJ shook it.

"I'm TJ," he said. The boy smiled even wider.

"Nice to meet you, TJ," he said. and TJ couldn't help but notice how deep and sweet his voice sounded. "My name is Reed."


	3. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension forms between Cyrus and TJ over the new friend TJ has made. Buffy supports Cyrus when he tells her what's been on his mind.

"How did it go? What's the new kid like?" Cyrus asked TJ as they walked out of the school.

"He's cool. He talked a lot, but it wasn't annoying. He smiled a lot, too. He wasn't shy or nervous. It was like he knew everyone and had been at this school since the first day." TJ explained, and Cyrus could see a smile forming on his face as he talked.

"I'm just wondering why he's joining our school in June," Cyrus said, looking straight ahead as he walked. "Why not just start next year?"

"Actually, I know why. He said his parents wanted him to meet some people his age before school ends so he has friends to hang out with during the summer."

"Are you one of those friends?" Cyrus asked.

TJ looked at him. "Well... yeah, I guess. He seems like someone I would spend time with." he gulped nervously after saying that, hoping Cyrus wouldn't take it the wrong way.

"You seem to be pretty fond of him." Cyrus observed, still not looking TJ in the eye.

"I mean, I guess you could say that," TJ replied. As soon as he said it, he saw Reed stepping out of a car with another kid by his side.

"There's Reed," TJ pointed, trying to be subtle as to not be rude. "You see him, by that car?"

Cyrus eyes scanned the street and landed on the blond boy next to a black SUV. He immediately realized why TJ talked about him with a twinkle in his eye. Reed was really cute. Cyrus then noticed that Reed was holding a helmet. He turned to TJ.

"Does he have a motorcycle or something?"

"Nah," TJ smiled. "He has a dirt bike."

"Oh," Cyrus said. "I would never be able to do that."

TJ frowned. "Don't talk like that. Remember the chocolate chocolate chip muffin? I thought dancing with danger was on your bucket list."

"Dancing with danger, yeah." Cyrus agreed. "But this is just dancing with death."

TJ laughed. "That's what the helmet is for. And the place where Reed does it isn't dangerous." TJ said. He hadn't actually been there, so he was just trusting Reed's word.

"Okay."

They walked in silence for a while, until Reed's voice broke the silence.

"Hey, TJ!" he called from across the road, and they realized Reed had been walking with his friend on the other side after they got out of the car.

TJ smiled and waved, slowing his steps. When he looked back at Cyrus again, he hadn't slowed down. TJ ran to catch up.

"Hey, slow down, you're leaving me in the dust!" he joked, but Cyrus didn't laugh.

"Wanna go to the spoon tomorrow? I've got a math test later this week and I'd like to study with you." TJ suggested.

"I'm busy." Cyrus replied, and TJ put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. Cyrus turned around and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I don't get why you're so mad at me. You have other friends. I have other friends. It's always been like that. Why would Reed being my friend be a problem?" TJ asked.

"It's... not. I don't even care." Cyrus lied, and turned to walk away.

"Where are you going? Can't we talk about this?"

"This is my stop, TJ. I'll see you at school." And with that, Cyrus walked up to the house TJ hadn't realized they'd arrived at.

________________

Cyrus woke up before his alarm clock rang, knowing he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep again even before he tried, despite it being five. He thought about what he had said to TJ the other day while he made and ate breakfast, wondering if he had made the right decision. He couldn't deny that he was jealous of TJ spending a day with another boy, a cute one at that, and talking about him with a look that Cyrus wished he wouldn't wear while talking about someone else.

He tried to be careful, though, because he didn't want TJ knowing how he felt about him. He wanted to explain the whole thing to TJ, but he knew he couldn't. TJ didn't like him back, at least, not in the way that Cyrus liked him, and if TJ found out, he would never speak to Cyrus again.

School was a good distraction for Cyrus. Buffy could still tell there was something on his mind, though, and she asked him about it at lunch.

"Are you okay?" she whispered to him as they moved through the lunch line, grabbing an apple, looking at him with an expectant look.

Cyrus sighed, reaching for a chocolate chocolate chip muffin, then deciding against it. "Nothing. I just didn't get much sleep last night." he answered. It was true, even though it wasn't the real answer to Buffy's question.

"I don't know if I believe you," she said, shaking her head. "You don't look tired, you look stressed."

"Maybe I'm stressed out about not getting enough sleep, what do you have to say about that?" he challenged.

"What I have to say about that is that you wouldn't have said 'maybe' if you were telling the truth." she shot back.

Cyrus glanced around the room. "Look, I'll tell you, but not here." he told her under his breath.

Buffy's face lit up. "Meet you outside at the picnic tables? I need to grab my phone from my locker."

"Sure thing," he confirmed, and they went their separate ways, but not before Buffy tossed her apple and sandwich onto Cyrus' lunch tray.

Cyrus sat at a clean red table and set his try down. Buffy arrived the moment he took his first bite of his vegan bagel.

"Okay, so, what's up?" she asked, dropping down on the bench across from him.

Cyrus thought for a bit, chewing and swallowing his mouthful of bagel. He didn't know how to word what he was about to say to his best friend.

"Buffy, you remember how my crush on Jonah changed to friendship?" Cyrus began.

"Of course I do," she smiled.

"Well, I think..." he struggled with his words. "I mean, I know, my friendship with TJ... you know, changed, to a crush." he winced as he tried to get the words out. It was hard for him to admit his crush on TJ.

Buffy leaned forward. "Cyrus, don't be embarrassed to tell me." she took his hand in hers, and it reminded him of when she did the same thing the day he came out to her. "I'm so happy for you." she reassured him.

"Thanks, Buffy." he tried to smile, but he still had a worry in his mind. " I just don't know how much longer I can go being so close to him, but never being able to tell him how I feel."

"Why don't you tell him how you feel?"

"Because he doesn't like me back, and if he found out I like him, I would lose him. Things would never be the same between us again."

Buffy squeezed his hand. "Cyrus, don't say that. He really does care about you, and he would never judge you for liking him. And who knows, he might even like you back." she smiled encouragingly, but Cyrus just squeezed her hand back and left it at that.

________________

Cyrus left the school and headed for the Spoon, knowing he would have been there with TJ if he had accepted the offer to study with him. He started to feel bad because he knew TJ needed help with his math, even if he was improving. Cyrus just wanted some time to himself, though, to sort some things out in his head before he talked to TJ again. He didn't want to say anything else hurtful to TJ, in fear of losing his friend.

Cyrus pushed the door open and heard the familiar ring of the bell above him. Amber glanced over as she set a plate in front of a customer, smiling and waving after she did so. He nodded politely. What caught Cyrus' eye next was the last thing he expected to see when he walked into the Spoon.

TJ and Reed studying at a table in the far corner.

Cyrus' jaw nearly dropped. How could TJ study with Reed, of all people? He had met him only the other day, and all of a sudden they were best buddies? And the way TJ looked at Reed...

Cyrus tried to turn and walk out before TJ saw him, but they locked eyes and he knew there was no point. They stayed like that for a moment, and it wasn't until Reed leaned out into the aisle and turned to see what TJ was staring at that Cyrus spun and ran out the door.

His first thought was to find refuge at the swing set, but it would only remind him of TJ, so he sat at a bench outside the spoon and watched cars go by. No more than ten minutes later. TJ tapped him on the shoulder.

"Is this seat free?" he pointed to the empty space beside Cyrus.

Cyrus swung his legs onto the bench, leaving no room for TJ. "Not anymore."

"Come on, Cyrus, let's talk." hearing TJ call him by his actual name, he realized TJ was being serious and really did want to talk, so he moved his legs and TJ sat down.

"Where's Reed?" Cyrus asked.

"He left. We were done studying. I mean, I was." TJ answered.

"What were you studying?" Cyrus asked, slightly relieved that Reed was gone.

"Math," TJ replied. "For the math test I told you about."

Cyrus sat up straighter. "Math? You're studying math with Reed?"

"Yeah, I am. Cyrus, I told him about my math dyslexia."

Cyrus stared at TJ. Why would he do that? He had only known Reed for what, two days? And he's telling him something so personal?

"He was fine with it. He said he didn't care." TJ continued, not waiting for Cyrus to respond.

"Oh," Cyrus said. Silence followed, but only for a minute, because a certain blond boy jogged over to the pair on the bench.

"Hey, TJ," he greeted the other blond boy, handing him a book. "You left your math textbook and I accidentally took it, thinking it was mine." he smiled. "You must have been in a rush."

TJ took the book and smiled back. "Thanks, Reed." he replied.

"No problem," he said, and lingered for a moment, his eyes still connected to TJ's. He then turned and walked away.

"See? He's totally chill. There's nothing to worry about." TJ said to Cyrus, but Cyrus wasn't paying attention to him. He was distracted by Reed as he walked away, thinking about the look he'd had on his face after he brushed hands with TJ, but mostly he payed attention to the way Reed slowed down for a moment and looked back at TJ.


	4. Total Drama Diner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus turns to Amber when he needs help while seeking revenge. While doing so, he reveals a secret to her that only his best friends know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This update is drama-filled, which is, of course, my favourite kind of update. ;) I hope you enjoy this roller coaster of a chapter!

"Cyrus? Hey, are you even listening to me?" Cyrus snapped out of the daze he was in. His mom had been trying to get his attention but his mind was elsewhere.

"Sorry, mom. I just got distracted." he apologized, trying to think of anything but the situation with TJ. 

"I can tell there's something on your mind. Why don't you tell me about it?" 

Cyrus looked at his tomato soup. He wanted to be honest with his mom, but he didn't know if he was ready to tell her about his crush on TJ. He figured he could leave out the details about his crush.

"I was hanging out with TJ last week, and-" but his mother cut him off.

"Oh, that friend of yours, TJ? He's such a nice boy,"

"Well, his friends aren't. One kid who was there, Reed, brought a gun. He wasn't planning on hurting anybody, but he still shouldn't have been playing around with it. The police got involved and everything got sorted out, but I'm concerned about who TJ's choosing to hang out with." Cyrus finished explaining.

His mom was silent for a minute. "That's a difficult situation to be in. Is that why you came home in a bad mood on Saturday?" she asked.

"Yeah. I left when I found out he'd brought a gun. I tried to get TJ to leave, too, but..." Cyrus trailed off.

"Sometimes people aren't who they seem to be," she said.

Cyrus looked up. "No, it's not like that. TJ is the one who called the police. He's not like the rest of them." he said.

His mom smiled. "I trust your judgement." she stood up, as she had already finished her soup. "'Night, Cyrus."

"'Night, mom." he replied.

After eating his soup, he brushed his teeth and changed, wondering how much longer he could go avoiding TJ at school.

________________

Cyrus woke up with his emotions all over the place. He cracked open the journal he rarely wrote in, and quickly scribbled what he was feeling.

Recently, I've been having trouble figuring things out between TJ and I. I know that it was silly for me to be upset at TJ for hanging out with Reed at first, but now I have a real reason. I guess it's more accurate to say I'm upset with Reed for the most part, but TJ's still to blame for hanging out with someone who plays with his parent's gun. Good think he stopped talking to Reed. Part of me disliking Reed could be because he looked back at TJ, and the idea that he probably likes TJ, but most of it is the fact that he is a bad influence in general. I think. Maybe I'm just acting weird because I have a crush on TJ.

Cyrus closed the notebook and slipped it into the top drawer of his desk. He pulled the straps of his backpack over his shoulders and ran a hair brush through his messy locks a couple times, changed his pyjama bottoms to jeans, and pulled on a pair of sneakers. School was uneventful. TJ was sitting alone once again, as he had been every day since the incident with Reed and the gun. Cyrus had tried several times to talk to TJ but his loyal body guards Buffy and Andi made sure he didn't.

He made his way to the spoon to get some tater tots, but by himself because Buffy was with Marty and Andi was with Amber. Cyrus slid into a seat and dropped his backpack beside him. Amber came over and out her hands on the table.

"Hey, Cyrus, what'll it be? Tater theatre again?" she asked, flashing him a bright smile. 

"You know it," he returned the grin. "And can I get a chocolate milkshake? Or did the machine break again?" he teased.

Amber rolled her eyes. "This isn't McDonalds. Our machines actually function." and with that, she strutted away with mock sass.

Cyrus took his phone out and scrolled through instagram while waiting for his food. He liked some pictures of Andi and Amber that they had posted from the virtual reality place in town. He noticed how there were no posts from TJ in his feed. Usually when they hang out a lot, they take loads of photos and Cyrus later sees them in his feed, but since they hadn't talked in a while, there were no pictures of them. In fact, TJ hadn't posted anything at all the whole week.

Cyrus was brought out of his thoughts when Amber placed a tray with his tater tots and milkshake on the table in front of him. He thanked her and ate slowly, staring out the window and watching people and cars go by. He often found this to be calming, being left alone with his thoughts, no one bothering him. Amber walked over and asked him if he had finished.

"Yeah, go ahead," he replied, and she picked up the empty tray and brought them back behind he counter. His eyes lingered in that direction just a moment long enough to see TJ sitting at the same booth in the corner he had sat at last time he was at the Spoon. Not only was he sitting at the same booth, he was also sitting with the same person. 

"Reed." he muttered under his breath.

Cyrus swung his backpack over his right shoulder and discreetly ran up to Amber.

"Psst, Amber, can you talk right now?" he whispered. Her mouth opened to say she couldn't because she was working, but before she could get the words out, Cyrus had grabbed her arm and was pulling her out of the open and into the hallway where the bathrooms were.

"What?!" she whisper-yelled. 

"I need you to spit in someone's food for me," Cyrus said in all seriousness, staring her straight in the eye. 

"What?" she repeated, even more confused now. "Why? You know I don't actually do that, right?"

"Pleeaase!" Cyrus begged. "Just this once. It's really important."

"I'll get fired if my boss sees me spitting in a customer's food, Cyrus." Amber deadpanned.

"Well, then, can't you just 'accidentally' put hot sauce on his burger? Salt in his milkshake? Mayo in his smoothie? There's gotta be something your boss won't notice you doing." 

Amber was taken back. "Why are you asking me to do this, anyway? I didn't know you were capable of making enemies." she said.

"He's not my enemy. I just don't like the way he looks-" Cyrus stopped himself mid sentence. He was about to say he didn't like the way Reed looked at TJ, but he wasn't sure if he could tell Amber. What would she say when she found out he liked TJ? He chose to risk it. " I don't like the way he looks at TJ"

Amber blinked. She seemed to be processing what he was telling her. Cyrus could nearly see the gears turning in her head. She turned and scanned the room they were partly hidden from. She found TJ and Reed and examined the situation for a moment. Suddenly, her eyes widened and to Cyrus' shock, she burst out laughing. 

"You're jealous of someone being friends with TJ, so you want me to spit in his food?" 

"Jealous, yeah, but... jealous of his being friends with TJ isn't how I would put it." he said.

There went the gears again. Her face filled with realization. She took his arm gently and looked him in the eye.

"Cyrus, do you like TJ?"

He nodded slowly and with uncertainty, trying to push fears of judgement out of his mind. Amber's mouth lifted on one side, and she ran her thumb over the material of his hoodie sleeve once, then removed her hand from his arm, grinning. "We got a new shipment of hot sauce this morning. That kid won't feel his face for a week."

Cyrus watched Amber walk away, and suddenly felt nervous, but Amber flashed him a toothy smile with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, and he relaxed. She went and took Reed and TJ's orders, then returned past the counter. Cyrus chewed his fingernails as he waited, and not long after, Amber come back and set down some tater tots in front of TJ and a burger in front of Reed. As Cyrus shifted closer, he could hear their words more clearly, and he hoped he was still out of view. 

"What is this sauce?" Reed asked Amber, and she gave him her automatic waitress smile. 

"It's a new sweet and sour sauce we've started putting on our burgers. Would you like a burger without it?" she offered, hoping he wouldn't accept it. Reed waved his hand dismissively. 

"No, it's alright, thank you."

Amber nodded and walked away, winking as she passed Cyrus.

His eyes traveled over to the pair at the booth and it was the perfect time. Reed was taking his first bite of his sabotaged burger. He gasped as he pulled away with his mouth full. TJ's eyebrows furrowed while Reed frantically fanned his mouth with his hands. The not so scary basketball guy in front of him then realized what happened, and his gaze drifted over to Cyrus, his shocked expression turning cold. He stomped his way up to Cyrus.

"Did you do this?" TJ fumed.

"No," Cyrus replied flatly.

"Then why did you look so smug when you watched Reed eat his burger? Who would it be otherwise?"

Cyrus shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't know, maybe someone who hates Reed? That wouldn't be a surprise. He sure isn't the friendly type. although it looks like he can be when he wants to." Cyrus' eyes narrowed.

TJ threw his hands up as if to say he'd done nothing wrong. "It's not my fault he's friendly towards me. And it's not my fault you're jealous!"

Cyrus' mouth opened, but he didn't speak at first. "I'm not jealous," he spoke through clenched teeth.

"Yes, you are," TJ jabbed an accusing finger against Cyrus' chest. "You think I like Reed better than I like you, and now you're mad at me because of how you feel." 

TJ was right. Cyrus sputtered. "Wh-no-I-"

TJ held a hand up. "Save it. I don't have time for this. If you're going to pull things like this," he motioned to Reed desperately downing a glass of milk, "then I don't think this will work." he gestured between them.

Cyrus' eyes widened. "TJ, you're my best friend!"

 

"Then why are you doing this?" TJ asked.

"Because you're hanging out with a kid that gets into trouble and thinks it's cool. It's not safe for you! And yet you're still friends with him, why?"

"Everyone deserves a second chance. He can change, Cyrus. Remember when everyone hated me and you convinced them I'd changed?" 

"That's different, TJ. You never stole a gun from your parents." Cyrus replied.

TJ shrugged in defeat. "Whatever. My friends aren't your business anyway." he turned to leave, and Cyrus didn't stop him. Instead he went the opposite way, into the family washroom, sitting against the door with his knees pulled up to his chest, his head resting on them.

A while later, Amber knocked on the door. "Anyone in there?"

Cyrus lifted his head and wiped his eyes. He opened the door, and Amber's eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Cyrus, have you been crying?" her voice was low and soft. 

He nodded, glanced over her shoulder, and upon seeing that no one was near, he motioned for her to come in. She stepped through the doorway and closed the door behind her quietly, then leaned on it with her arms crossed. Immediately she remembered crossing her arms made her look unwelcoming, as Andi had informed her, so she clasped them together in front of her waist. Cyrus leaned against the hand dryer and cast his eyes to the floor.

"What's going on, Cyrus? I hope you don't regret what happened to blondie. He deserved half a bottle of hot sauce on his burger." she smirked.

"See, that's the thing..." he scratched the back of his head, and Amber's hands dropped to her sides.

"Don't you dare tell me you feel bad for him. You're too soft, Cyrus, you feel bad for people who don't deserve it." she looked irritated, angry even, and that's when she decided it was appropriate to cross her arms to show Cyrus she wasn't joking around.

"I don't feel bad for him, I feel bad for... myself." he blushed furiously. He was embarrassed of how he felt.

"Why?" Amber asked. "I did what you asked - what he had coming - and it all worked out."

"TJ's mad at me." Cyrus squeaked. Amber scoffed in return.

"Who cares? He's the one who continued to hang out with some idiot who does stupid shit. It's not your fault he makes bad decisions."

"I think he likes Reed." Cyrus blurted, then brought his hand to his mouth with wide eyes. He hadn't meant to say it.

Amber was taken back. "TJ? Likes Reed?"

"I... I don't know. I just think he does. The way he looks at Reed..." Cyrus trailed off.

"Oh, Cyrus," she closed her eyes and blew out a breath of air slowly. "He doesn't like Reed."


	5. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus finds comfort in spending time with and talking to his friends. TJ's team mate confronts him about a secret he has and things take a turn for the worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I was waiting literally ALL week to post this! I hope you enjoy the drama.

Amber was shocked that Cyrus thought TJ liked Reed. Especially surprised when Cyrus mentioned how TJ looked at Reed - with the least amount of romantic attraction possible. Sure, TJ might have found Reed to be cute, but the look Cyrus seemed to be referring to was reserved for Cyrus and only Cyrus. Amber face palmed mentally. Cyrus could sometimes be as oblivious as Jonah. 

Even without seeing how TJ looked at Cyrus so lovingly, Amber would have known he had a crush on Cyrus. He had told her who he liked - he told her everything - and it was the boy standing in front of her.

"How do you know that?" Cyrus seemed skeptical of her statement, but also perked up a bit at the same time.

Amber rubbed her temples. She knew TJ wouldn't want Cyrus to know that he liked him, and would never trust her again if she spilled his secret. "He's straight," she lied, and felt a pinch of guilt, but ignored it. She was doing the right thing.

Cyrus didn't even try to mask his face falling and his shoulders slumping. Amber noticed inevitably, and brushed the hair out of his eyes. She wasn't one for physical affection or comfort, which Cyrus knew, so he smiled at the gesture, despite how small it was. 

"Why don't you go out the back exit? TJ and blondie haven't left yet." she suggested, lifting the backpack he'd left on the floor outside the bathroom door, handing it to him. They headed out and she turned to him.

"I need to get back to work. If you need anything, let me know, okay? I'm always here." 

Cyrus nodded and made his way towards Andi's house. He wanted to talk to her about what had happened.

He hung out at Andi's for a while, watching cheesy romances with her until he realized it wasn't making him feel any better. When he'd showed up at her door, she'd taken one look at his face, pulled him in, and put on "Love Simon". Several movies later, Cyrus told Andi everything that had happened. She nodded sympathetically, holding his hand throughout it, not speaking once until he finished.

"I would have done the same thing, Cy," there was laughter in her eyes, and he chuckled, glad that he had talked about it, since that always helped him feel better. 

Goodbyes were exchanged, and at home, Cyrus unpacked his backpack and sat at his desk. He completed several pages of homework, and upon realizing it was already 11:00, much later than he'd ever stayed up, he shut his binder and went to switch off his desk lamp. As he reached over, he noticed his journal open to the page with his journal entry from that morning, about his crush on TJ and being mad at Reed. He ripped out the paper and crumpled it in his fist, tossing it behind him. He'd read somewhere that doing that helps deal with anger or sadness. It didn't really do much. 

He put away his journal, switched off the lamp, and crawled under the covers, letting sleep overtake his racing mind.

________________

TJ didn't see Cyrus at school on Monday, the day after the incident at the Spoon, not that he was looking for him or anything. Basketball practice always helped take his mind off of things, so he was relieved when he checked his schedule and saw that there was practice that day.

The rest of the team was already there when he arrived, and he set his gym bag down on the bench, which was pushed against the wall. His team mates greeted him, and he lifted a hand to acknowledge them, his lips lifting slightly with effort. He didn't want to talk. Playing would put his thoughts in another place, a lighter place, so he was eager to get to it as soon as possible.

The coach, who'd been waiting for everyone to show up, whistled to get the team's attention. "Alright, boys, I need to make a quick call, so warm up until I get back. And TJ," hearing his name, TJ's head snapped up, feeling silly for being on his phone while the others were listening, "put that thing down. Your friends won't think you've gone missing if you're unresponsive for an hour and a half." 

TJ turned red and his team mates snickered while the coach walked out. "Yeah, tell your boyfriend to leave you alone!" Rodrick hooted.

"He's not my boyfriend, and he isn't messaging me."

"Oh, really? Let me see about that!" Rodrick smirked, snatching TJ's phone from his hand.

TJ watched in horror as Rodrick tapped on his phone several times, obviously confused. "Wait, where'd it go? Oh, that's the home screen."

"Give it back, Rodrick, now." TJ seethed, anger hiding the fear behind his eyes.

"Hey, what's this app? Wattpad? What's on here?" his thumb continued swiping and pressing various parts of the screen. "Gay smut? The hell?" 

The blood drained from TJ's face. He lunged for the phone, but Rodrick dodged him swiftly. TJ realized it was too late by the disgusted look on Rodrick's face. "What the actual fuck, dude? You really are a fag!"

The rest of the team snickered behind him as he sprinted through the gym doors, not bothering to take his gym bag with him. His coach was walking around the corner as he ran through the school's exit, and he ignored the yelling he heard from where he was trying to get far, far away.

"TJ! Where are you going? Come back here!" 

Hot tears ran down his face and the wind chased them down his cheeks and neck.

After several minutes had passed, the playground came into view, and he didn't slow down until he reached the swing set. Flopping himself on a swing, he dragged his sleeve across his face, not caring who saw him crying. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths, and when he opened his eyes again, there was a little kid standing in front of him. The child looked around six or seven.

"Are you okay?" she asked. 

TJ blinked. "Yes, I am. I'm fine."

The girl frowned. "Doesn't look like it." she took the swing next to him. "It's okay to be upset."

That made TJ smile a little. "I know."

"Would you like to talk about it?" 

"People at school said mean things to me," he told her.

"Why?"

"They found out my deepest, darkest secret." he found that it felt good to talk to a younger person, especially a stranger, because there was no judgement.

"What secret?"

"I like boys." he answered, involuntarily glancing past her, to the few people sprinkled around the playground, afraid someone might hear.

She looked up at him. "Why is that deep and dark? Everyone likes boys. That's why they have friends."

"I don't mean like that. I mean I like boys in a way that... I want to marry one when I'm older." he explained.

The girl thought for a moment. "My dad likes boys like that, too."

"Does he?"

"Yeah. He left me mom because he doesn't like girls like that."

TJ didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Mommy said he's happier this way. She has brown hair and loves yellow, by the way. She said she's happier this way, too, but she still cries about it sometimes. My brother leaves the house when she cries so he doesn't have to listen to her."

TJ was shocked. He felt like he had intruded, and shouldn't have reminded her of such a sad memory. He wanted to leave, but he felt like there was something he should say.

"I have to go now, but I have a question; what's your name?"

"Marianne. But everyone calls me Mary."

"I'm TJ," the older boy offered his hand for a hand shake.

Mary took it. "That's a weird name."

TJ surprised himself by laughing. "It stands for something." 

"What does it stand for?"

"That's another secret I have." he grinned slyly, and started home. He glanced back after walking for a minute, and saw Mary being pushed on the swings by a tall woman with a yellow top and shoulder length brown hair.


	6. Good Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus' mom confronts him about a journal entry she found in his room. TJ's mom confronts him about his recent behavior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lads, this chapter was really emotional for me to write because of the parallels between this work and my life. The events and emotions come form a personal place, and I hope you can relate to them, too.

Cyrus' Monday had gone significantly better than TJ's. School was the same as usual, and he went straight to the kitchen to do his homework.

"How was school, Cy?" his mother asked.

Cyrus opened his binder and looked up at his mom. "Fine."

"Talk to any cute boys?" 

Cyrus' face paled. "What?"

"I said, did you talk to any cute boys?" she sipped her herbal tea and sat at the seat across from him.

"Why, um," Cyrus shifted in his chair. "Why would you ask that?"

"Because of this." she removed a crumpled paper from her apron's front pocket and smoothed it out on the table.

Cyrus suddenly found it hard to breathe, and his palms became sweaty. It was his journal entry from Sunday, before he left to go to the Spoon. The one where he talked about his crush on TJ.

"I found it on your bedroom floor when I came in to see if you had cleaned it like I asked you to on Sunday morning. I read it to see if it was important or if I could just throw it away." she told her son. "It's important."

"Mom, I can explain-"

She cut him off. "No need to. Cyrus, I'm okay with this. In fact, I'm so happy that you know who you are. I just want to know why you never told me you were gay. Or, whatever you are. I guess I shouldn't assume you aren't bi. Regardless, you know you can tell me anything." 

Cyrus let out a shaky but relieved breath. "Gay. And I know I can, mom. I just didn't tell you because I didn't feel like it was the right time. I'm not ashamed or anything. And I'm happy you know now."

"I'm glad you aren't ashamed, because you shouldn't be." his mom smiled warmly. "And, by the way, your room still isn't cleaned."

Cyrus laughed and rolled his eyes good-naturedly. He gathered his backpack and binder, and the wrinkled paper in one arm, and hugged his mom with the other. While making his way upstairs, he may or may not have wiped a tear that had escaped.

________________

After the conversation at the swings with Mary, TJ went home and retired to his room for the day. He'd felt better in the moment, because she'd made him laugh, but it wasn't permanent relief. It didn't change what had happened. He smacked himself on the side of the head for being so dumb, for letting Rodrick take his phone, for not getting it back soon enough. Everything that had happened was his fault. He needed to quit the team. He needed to move as far away from Jefferson as possible. Word of what Rodrick found would be out in no time, and TJ's life would be over.

He rolled onto his side, staring at his alarm clock that read, "12:30". He'd been laying in bed for hours and couldn't sleep by any means. How he'd be able to face the next day was lost to him.

The moment TJ stepped through the doors of the school, all of his awful thoughts and worries about the day came true. Kids in every grade whispered and stared as he made his way to his locker. He avoided all eye contact, which was strange and foreign to him, because he was usually very social and not shy in any way. The state of his locker was no surprise. Various phrases and words were scribbled on it with marker and pen, and some were etched into the metal with compasses from math kits. Phrases and words he could never repeat. Phrases and words students would be suspended for saying out loud.

He turned and left, not bothering to open his locker and put his books in it. He kept his backpack under his desk during class and his head down the whole day. Fatigue got the best of him, and he didn't want to look anybody in the eye. Basketball practice was on that day, and TJ couldn't care less. As he exited the school, his coach jogged up to him.

"TJ, where were you yesterday? You never miss practice."

TJ faced him with glassy eyes. "I'm quitting the team." he said, his voice unwavering.

"What? Why?" the coach asked.

"Why do you think?" TJ spat.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yeah, you're the only one," TJ shook his head. "Go back to the team, coach. They want you there."

"They want you there, too." the coach said softly, reaching out to touch TJ's arm.

"No, they don't," TJ tore out of his grip and felt tears sting his eyes, his fists clenched in anger and sorrow at the same time. "No one wants a fag on their team!"

The coach's jaw dropped. "TJ, I-" But TJ didn't stay to listen. Instead, he ran home, just like the day before. Only this time, he didn't stop at the swings. He reached his house and slammed his bedroom door behind him, ignoring his parents reminding him not to wear his shoes inside.

"TJ?" his mom tapped on the door, and TJ threw himself on his bed, stuffing his face in his pillow to muffle the sobs that wracked his body.

"Can I open the door?" she asked, and when she got no answer, she opened the door and closed it behind her. TJ laid there, face in a pillow, shoes still on. He stayed unmoving as his mother sat on the bed and slipped off his shoes and rubbed his back soothingly.

"You don't have to talk about it, but I'm here to listen if you want to."

Her son held out his hand without lifting his head, and she took it. He then pointed at the kleenex box on his night stand. She plucked a tissue from the box and placed it in his hand after realizing that's what he wanted. TJ blew his nose and dropped the kleenex into the trash bin beside his bed.

"You know, kid, I thought you wanted to hold my hand," she smiled.

"Sorry, you can hold it if you want to." his voice was squeaky and higher than usual because he'd been crying.

"You just blew your nose, I don't know if I want to anymore." she replied, and he withdrew his 

hand. "I'm kidding, Teej." she giggled, and laced her fingers between his. "I'll always hold your hand when you need me to."

"Thanks, mom," TJ sniffed. "Hey, is it okay if I tell you something?"

"Of course, honey," she answered.

"I quit the basketball team," he struggled to say it, and once he did, he winced, awaiting her reaction.

"Why?" she asked.

"All my team mates hate me."

"I'm sure that's not true," she rubbed the back of his hand with the bad of her thumb.

"It is true, mom. They hate me because," his voice caught as he suppressed more tears. "because I'm gay."

"Oh, TJ," she pulled him against her chest, and he could hear her heartbeat. His eyes fell closed and he listened to the calming thump of her heart. "It's okay. I love you so, so much."

TJ typically wasn't super affectionate with his parents, but it wasn't a typical day. "I love you, too, mom."

"I can talk to your principal about how these kids are treating you if you want me to."

"No, mom, don't talk to the principal. I don't want to make things worse. He probably already knows it, anyway." TJ said.

"Grown ups are notorious for not noticing these things. What did coach say to you when you quit?"

TJ leaned back and gripped a pillow against himself, resting his chin on it. "He asked why," TJ replied, and it became evident to him that his mom was right. His coach had no clue what was going on.

"See? Now, do you want me to consult Principal Metcalf?" she asked.

"I told you, it would only make things worse than they already are. People would hate me even more if my team mates got in trouble because of me."

"They wouldn't be getting in trouble because of you, they would be getting in trouble because of how they're treating you." her jaw was clenched and he could tell she was angry.

"I'd never be able to look him in the eye again if he knew what happened." TJ's head was hung low in shame.

"There's nothing embarrassing about being gay. Mr. Metcalf would never think of you any differently because of it."

TJ swallowed painfully. "Mom, it-" his voice cracked and he couldn't stop a tear from escaping. "It's not just about me being gay. It's about what they did."

His mom's expression changed. She was afraid to know what he was going to tell her. "TJ, what did they do? I need you to be honest with me."

"They took my phone at basketball practice and," he felt another tear fall, and his breathing was laboured. "found some things in my... private online library."

She nodded, stroking his hair. "You don't have to go into specifics, I understand. You won't need to go into specifics with Metcalf, either. Those kids had no right going through your phone and telling people what they found. They need to be punished, TJ, and I know that if I address the issue with the principal, we can deal with it properly and discreetly. No one will bother you anymore. I'll make sure of it."

"Thanks, mom, really." he hugged her again. He didn't now how sure he was that people would stop bothering him, but he trusted that his mom would figure something out with the principal.

"I love you. I'm going to make dinner, what would you like?" she asked him. "Macaroni? I know that's your favourite."

TJ's head raised at the option of choosing what they were having for dinner, since it was a rare opportunity. "Macaroni sounds great." he said. She stood up and patted him on the back.

"Good talk, son." she mimicked TJ's father with in a gruff voice. TJ chuckled. "Yeah."

He watched her leave and thought about the conversation they'd just had. It felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest. "Good talk."

________________

Cyrus bolted down the stairs - he finds it boring and slow to walk them, and believes it to be the only necessary time to run - and his mom met him at the bottom.

"Morning, Cy-guy." she kissed his forehead.

"Morning, mom," he gave her a quick side-hug and grabbed a granola bar from the pantry.

"So, yesterday afternoon, you said you weren't ashamed or anything. I was wondering if you'd be okay with me telling your dad."

He chewed and swallowed his first bite of the small breakfast. "Sure. I don't mind if everyone knows."

"Really? Everyone?"

"Well, every one of my parents." he elaborated.

"Awesome! I'll let tell him now, and let him now he can pass on the news to your stepmom." she pulled her phone out of her pocket. Upon seeing the time, she added, "and you, sir, have a bus to catch."

"Right! Thanks, mom." he got up and retrieved his sneakers from the shoe rack, slipping them on, and opened the door. With a hand on the knob, he turned and said, "for everything."


	7. Headbands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonah takes TJ by surprise with an act of kindness by sacrificing something very important to him. Cyrus bonds with his father, while Buffy, Andi, Libby, and Amber come up with a public way to stand up for a friend.

TJ's knee bounced involuntarily, his fits clenching and unclenching on his thighs. He was sitting next to his mom on the chairs outside of the principal's office, waiting to be called in. They'd arranged to meet with Principal Metcalf the day before, right after TJ told his mom had happened. He fought with himself in his mind about whether it was a good idea as she dialed the number and made the call. In the end, it was decided that they were to have the discussion at 9:30 in the morning, so TJ was missing first period. He wasn't particularly bothered by that.

"TJ? Mrs. Kippen?" Principal Metcalf called them in. The mother and son entered the office, sitting on two padded chairs in front of the large, clean desk they noticed the minute they entered. Mr. Metcalf sat across from them, hands clasped on the light brown hardwood surface.

"It is my understanding that there's been some trouble between you and another student on the 

basketball team, correct?" he directed this at TJ.

"You know about it?" TJ glanced sideways at his mom, with second thoughts. I guess not all of the grown ups here are oblivious, he thought. His stomach clenched. I should have talked to him sooner. What has he heard from passing students?

"I didn't know until your mother phoned me to schedule this meeting. She explained that there was some bullying taking place, but the only information I have is from her. You're here with me so I can hear your side of the story in more detail."

TJ fidgeted in his seat. This was the part he was dreading the most, and they were getting right into it. "I was at basketball practice. Rodrick took my phone, making fun of me 'cause he thought I was texting my boyfriend. Which I wasn't. I don't even have a boyfriend. Anyway, he found some... stuff on it and told everyone I'm gay." he took a breath at the end, after telling the whole story in one go.

Principal Metcalf nodded slowly, processing it, but clearly understanding, like TJ's mom had. He then leaned back in his office chair. "TJ, we have a strict no bullying policy, and ZERO tolerance for anyone stealing another student's possessions, invading their privacy, and spreading rumours about them." he counted on his fingers as he listed the rules Rodrick had broken.

"It's... it's not a rumour, sir. It's true." TJ said, his voice suddenly hoarse, as if his throat was sandpaper.

The principal waved his hand, shooing TJ's statement away. "Whether it's true or not isn't the point. It's against the rules either way. Another student is talking about you behind your back, and along with the other things he did, he needs to be punished."

"I don't want to make things worse. I already have enough people who hate me." TJ picked at a loose thread on the knee of his jeans.

"No one hates you, TJ. And punishing Rodrick will only make things better." he turned to Mrs. Kippen. "I think the best approach to this is to bring in Rodrick and his mother so we can all sort this out and hear his side of the story, too. What do you think?"

"I think that's a good idea. TJ?" she touched his knee, stilling his hand.

"Whatever." he mumbled.

"We just want to help, TJ." Mr. Metcalf said. "I can arrange for all five of us to talk. I'll let you know when I do."

"Thank you, Mr. Metcalf." TJ's mom smiled, and they shook hands. TJ didn't even look up as they left the office.

"That went well, don't you think?" she nudged TJ as they headed to TJ's locker.

"I don't want to talk to Rodrick." 

"It's important that we clear this up. And you probably won't have to talk directly to him. It can be an open discussion."

"I'll see you after school, mom." TJ said, since that was the moment they'd reached his locker.

"Love you, honey." she kissed the top of his head and walked off. 

TJ grabbed his French binder and closed his locker door. His lock had gone missing in September since he never locked it, and he figured that as long as it could close, he didn't need a lock. 

"TJ?"

One of his team mates, Emmett, was standing beside him, holding a gym bag. It didn't take long for him to realize it was his.

"You forgot this at practice Monday. You might want to wash the contents since that was two days ago." Emmett chuckled, and TJ rolled his eyes.

"Thanks. The clothes in here can't be dirty, considering..."

"You left before you could wear them." Emmett finished for him. TJ nodded. 

"Sorry about what happened. Roddy can be a jerk sometimes. He should be suspended."

"I just want people to forget it and move on." TJ sighed as they made their way to class.

"It's not as bad as you think. People aren't talking about it anymore, not really. They've found new drama. They always do." Emmett smirked. "We miss our captain, though."

"I don't think I can go back with Rodrick there."

"You shouldn't have to leave because of what he did. He should leave."

"Metcalf is meeting with us to talk about it. Maybe he will leave." TJ said, and they entered class together.

________________

When the lunch bell rang, Emmett ran to catch up with TJ as he left class. TJ's legs made longer strides than Emmett's as Emmett was significantly shorter, so Emmett walked faster to compensate. 

"Dude, how cool is Jonah?" he exclaimed as they weaved through the crowd of students. 

"Pretty cool?" TJ guessed. "Why?"

"Wait. You haven't heard, have you?" 

"Heard what?"

"This morning he went up to his ultimate frisbee team and quit. Just like that. He's captain, and he quit!"

TJ threw a sideways glance at his newfound friend. "In what way is that cool?"

"He did it for you." 

TJ froze in his tracks. "Come again?" 

"He quit the team in protest. You know, because of what Rodrick did. He's standing up against bullying. And homophobia, for that matter. He knows people shouldn't treat their team mates that way, so he's leaving the team until all bullying in every sport at this school is eliminated."

"Wow. Jonah did that for me?"

"Duh. You guys are friends, right?"

"Of course. But... I don't know. I wouldn't have expected him, or anyone to do something like that for me."

"Me neither, to be honest. I just heard it from Aaron."

"Aaron? Emmett, he's the biggest gossip at Jefferson. Meaning he parrots everything he hears. That could have been a rumour."

"Fair point, but maybe it isn't a rumour. Why don't you ask Jonah?"

"I guess he's the best source of information in this case," TJ agreed.

"Go ahead then. He's right there." Emmett pointed his head to a table in the cafeteria they'd just stepped into. Jonah was sitting with Andi, Cyrus, Buffy, and Libby. He was laughing and eating and not acting like he'd quit his team that morning. TJ approached him, receiving a handful of glances of acknowledgement from them. 

"Hi, Jonah." TJ greeted.

"Hey, TJ," Jonah returned. "Come here to thank me?"

"It's true? You really quit for me?" 

Jonah laughed. "So you did hear. And yeah, I did that. I figured, if the people at this school don't treat their basketball captain right, they don't deserve a frisbee team captain, either."

Buffy spoke. "Amen."

TJ's eyes widened. "You quit your team, too? Buffy, I could never thank you enough-"

"Yeah, not happening. I'm not abandoning my girls, especially not when we have a game tomorrow." Glancing at Jonah, she added, "But what Jonah did was brave. I'll find another way to take a stand."

"You guys are the best. This is more than I could have ever asked for." TJ grinned, fist bumping with Buffy.

Andi raised a hand, and everyone turned to her. "Actually, I had an idea of how we could contribute, Buffy."

"I'm listening," Buffy seemed to perk up.

"The entire school watches the basketball games, I figured we could do something at yours tomorrow, when everyone is there to see."

Cyrus joined in the conversation. "Ooooh, I sense a scandal,"

Andi laughed. "Not like that, Cy. I thought Buffy and I could make a few of these for the players to wear." she pulled up a picture on her phone, which was of pride bracelets. Coloured sequins covered them in the form of a rainbow. "It's not violating any dress codes, and it would definitely grab everyone's attention." 

"That's an awesome idea! I'm sure all the girls would be happy to wear those."

"Thanks. Want to come over to me make them after school?"

"Absolutely! What about you, Libby?" Buffy asked. Libby agreed enthusiastically to help out with the headbands.

"Really, this is so cool of you to do." TJ said, and Jonah gave him a light slap on the back. 

"We're here for you whenever."

"Who are you texting?" Buffy asked Andi after she opened her messaging app.

"Amber. She might want to take part." "Why is her contact name set to "canoe partner" with a heart?" Buffy raised a brow.

Andi clicked send and stuffed her phone back into her pocket. "It's, um, an inside joke. I'll see you guys later." she rushed out of the room, lunch bag in hand.

It was silent until Cyrus said, "That was weird." and everyone nodded.

"Really though, it's strange. She didn't ask me to help with the craft." he continued.

"That's because you have zero coordination, Cyrus." Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Right."

"Um, I've got to go. Libby and I are working on a science project in the lab. See you guys." he stood up, took Libby's hand after she waved, and they walked off together.

"And I have to ask the coach about track tryouts for next year. Later, losers." Buffy winked, strutting away.

TJ stared at his folded hands on the table. Cyrus had no idea what to say. They hadn't spoken since the argument at the Spoon. Suddenly, TJ got up and left, and Cyrus sat alone until the bell rang, wondering if things between him and TJ could ever be mended.

________________

"Are you two ready to order?" the waitress asked Cyrus and his dad a few minutes after they'd sat down. The both of them had looked at the menus in silence after their arrival on Wednesday night after school. Cyrus couldn't focus, so he decided on the first option; a grilled cheese sandwich with a side of tomato soup. His head flooded with thoughts: Why isn't he saying anything? Has he changed his mind about accepting me? Does he hate me now? Does he- but his racing mind was interrupted when the waitress spoke those words.

"I think we are. I'll take a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup." he glanced in Cyrus' 

direction, awaiting his order.

"Same for me."

"That simplifies things." she said with laughter in her eyes. "Any drinks?"

"Water," they answered in unison.

Maybe he can't focus, either.

When the woman left, his dad asked, "Distracted?"

Guess not.

"Yeah. Just thinking about things."

"Me too."

"Like what?"

"Like you. Like us."

"Oh." Cyrus stared at his utensils wrapped neatly in a napkin. He hated that he couldn't decipher his dad's statements. "Do you still love me?" he blurted.

His dad's face bore a shocked expression. "Of course. Why on earth wouldn't I?"

"You didn't talk on the way here, and that silence continued as we sat down. Did you change your mind about loving me?"

"I didn't talk because I didn't know what to say. Our conversation over the phone yesterday afternoon was so... I don't know. Relieving? I was so glad you were comfortable talking to me so casually about your crush, your boy crush, when you'd only just come out to me. And then when I didn't hear a peep out of you on the way here, I thought maybe you'd changed your mind. That maybe you were regretting telling me."

"Oh. I didn't think of it that way. I thought you were pretending to be happy about it, or you were happy about it then, but not anymore, or-"

"Cyrus. Is that really how you see me? Do you really think that after loving you your entire life, I could just stop? Just like that?" Cyrus could hear the heartbreak in his father's voice, and he knew his words were genuine.

"It happens to a lot of people like me," Cyrus said. "Even when they were so sure their parents loved them, they get kicked out or neglected. I was afraid it might happen to me, too." he admitted.

He was startled when his dad took his hand in his own. "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love you more than anything in this world, and I love you even more each day. There is nothing that could ever change that." there were tears in his eyes by now, which he blinked back quickly.

"I love you so much, dad. I'm sorry I thought you didn't love me." Cyrus had tears of his own which he wiped with his napkin.

"Don't be sorry. I understand why you felt that way. I just wish you never had to." he squeezed his son's hand.

"It's the reality of it, dad." Cyrus shrugs. "Everyone who comes out fears the worst."

"I'm glad you won't have to live the worst. With your parents, I mean. I can't say the same for the rest of the world."

Cyrus nodded. "I told Buffy and Andi, and Amber, who you haven't met. She works at the Spoon. They all took it well."

"That's amazing!"

"Yeah, but that's only three people besides my parents. I can't predict what everyone else will do, or say."

"I hate that you have these kinds of worries, Cy-guy. No matter what happens, I'm here for you."

"I know, dad. And I'll never question that again."

"Two grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soups!" the same waitress said when she returned to their table. She set down the two plates and bowls bearing their food. When she left, Cyrus' dad leaned forward.

"How do waiters balance so many dishes on their arms at once?"

"No idea. I could only ever wish to have such skills." Cyrus replied, dipping a spoon into his soup.


	8. Chapter 8: You Walk Fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy's basketball team sports not-so-subtle headbands in support of TJ, sparking an unexpected reaction from Bex. A group activity not long after is interrupted by a dispute between TJ and Cyrus, causing friends to take sides and more arguments to arise.

"You guys ready?" Buffy asked.

All the girls nodded, confident grins spread across heir faces. Each one donned a rainbow headband; the handiwork of Andi, Amber, Buffy,and Libby. They had happily agreed to wear the sequin-covered accessory throughout the game as a way to show they were allies.

"Let's do this." Buffy said.

The team threw their hands up and cheered, dispersing onto the court to start the game.

Cyrus, Andi, TJ, Libby, Jonah, and Bex were all sitting in the bleachers, beaming with excitement, holding signs they'd made to support Buffy and her team. Only this time, they weren't just for Buffy and her team. They were coloured rainbow.

"YOU CAN"T OUT-TUFF THE BUFF!" Bex screamed, and Cyrus slapped his hand over his ears, making Andi giggle until she hiccuped.

Bex ignored the dramatic kids. "Nice signs, by the way. I see they're extra rainbow today." she pointed out the signs with a motion of her head.

"Thanks. They match our girls' headbands." Andi said from behind her sign. "To show our support as allies." That last part was one of the few lies she'd told her mom in her life. Yes, the part about the girls' team being allies was true, but Andi was more than just an allie. But she couldn't tell her mom that.

"Really? I didn't know Jefferson was openly supportive of the LGBTQ community."

"They aren't. That's why we're doing this." Andi told her.

Bex grinned. "I want to be as cool as you when I grow up."

Andi laughed. "You already are, mom."

"I don't know." Bex shrugged and turned to the game. She cheered at the appropriate moments, and kept a smile the whole time, but her thoughts remained elsewhere.

________________

"Whooo! That was amazing! You guys are my heroes!" Cyrus sprinted to Buffy - an action he rarely made, so it took her by pleasant surprise - and leapt into her arms.

"Cyrus, we lost." she said, catching him effortlessly.

"Pfsshht, technically you lost. But you totally slayed out there."

"Yeah. It was super close. The other team only won by a landslide." Jonah added. They all turned to look at him, and from Buffy's arms, Cyrus said, "I don't think you used that phrase correctly."

"I probably didn't." Jonah shook his head, and they all cracked up.

"Hey, is TJ signing to Libby?" Buffy pointed in TJ and Libby's direction, where they were in fact speaking in sign language to each other. When she lifted her arm to point, though, Cyrus tumbled to the ground. He landed sprawled out on the gym floor on his back, but made a quick recovery and propped himself up on his elbows.

"I think it is!" he squinted at them.

"I didn't know he knew ASL." Andi raised her eyebrows in shock.

"He's full of surprises, isn't he?" Jonah tilted his head to the side.

"Sure is." Cyrus nodded slowly.

Libby laughed, and signed something briefly, before giving TJ a playful punch on the arm. He shoved his hands in his pockets, leaning back on his heels, a blush creeping up the back of his neck.

Cyrus' head perked up significantly at this, and Buffy nudged him with her shoe. His eyes met hers, and she cocked an eyebrow at him. He mimicked her, not catching on to what she was implying, so she grabbed his hand and dragged him several feet away from the rest of the group. 

"Do you think he likes her?" Cyrus asked as soon as they were out of ear shot.

Buffy's face took on a bewildered expression. "What?"

"Didn't you see the way he turned red when she touched him? And I wonder what she signed to him after laughing. Was she flirting?"

"Cyrus, I would have expected you to be the last person to forget that TJ's gay." Buffy snickered.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying, I think someone," she booped him on the nose, "has an itty-bitty crush."

Cyrus turned the colour of a nicely ripe tomato, and it wasn't because of the boop. "I do not," he defended.

"Oh, really? Is that so?" she smirked. Her eyes found their way past Cyrus tot he pair still signing away to each other. "Say, you may be right about TJ. Looks like he's really interested in her. Maybe he's bi." she said with mock interest. She wasn't really serious, she just wanted a reaction from Cyrus, to see if her suspicions were correct.

Cyrus spun around - he'd been facing Buffy and away from everyone else - to investigate. Libby and TJ were the exact same way they'd been before. Cyrus faced Buffy gain, who's smirk had intensified. He sighed in defeat. "Fine. I like TJ. But if you tell him, or anyone else for that matter, I won't cheer at any of your games for the remainder of the year." he huffed.

"I won't tell a soul," she zipped her lips with her index finger and thumb pinched together. As they walked back to the group, she side-eyed him.

"One soul?"

Cyrus gave her a look.

"Fine." she sighed.

________________

At the Spoon, Bex brought up and idea she'd been mulling over during the game.

"Listen, guys. The headbands and the rainbow posters? Really awesome. You're part of something big, and special." Bex told the six kids at the table while they dug into their milkshakes with tater tots. They all looked up in surprise.

"Thanks, mom." Andi smiled, and everyone else nodded. "We're happy to do it."

"Exactly. You were just so enthusiastic and willing. And that energy you had inspired me. Guys, I want to host a pride event at Cloud 10." her voice gradually rose as she presented her idea. She could barely contain her excitement.

"That's a really cool idea!" Buffy exclaimed.

"Yeah. I'd love to help out." TJ said. He glanced so briefly at Cyrus that Cyrus almost thought he'd imagined it. Almost.

"Count me in," said Cyrus.

Libby gave a sign of agreement and nudged Jonah. "Me too," he said.

"Well, that's that, then." Andi clapped her hands. "This is going to be the best pride event Shadyside has, and ever will see."

"To the gays!" Jonah cheered, lifting his milkshake in the air. Bex burst out laughing at this, and raised her drink as well. Everyone else copied them, voicing their own cheers.

________________

"Thank you all so much for showing up today and sacrificing your Friday afternoons to help out. I'm very excited to set this up, and even more excited for tomorrow, when the event happens." Bex welcomed everyone who'd come; Andi, Buffy, Cyrus, Jonah, TJ, Libby, Walker, Bowie, Cece, and Marty. "Now, let's not wait any longer! Time to get this started!" she stepped down from the chair she was standing on and assigned jobs to each person she around her.

"Bowie, you're tall, so you put up the streamers. Jonah, you can join him. Andi, Libby, you get started on the smaller, more tedious decorations, and make them as rainbow as possible. Buffy, you make the posters for the windows to let people know what's going on here. Include what the event is, when it is, and that allies are welcome. Make them big and bold to attract people's attention. Walker, I need you to set up the art station. Marty, I'll need help in the kitchen. Be there. Mom, make sure everything's running smoothly, okay? And Cyrus and TJ, you two can print and fold the pamphlets. I already designed them, and they're saved on my computer. One hundred copies should be enough; if not, we'll just print more when needed." And with that, she left to the kitchen with Marty trailing behind her.

"Holy guacamole," Walker breathed. "She knows what she's doing."

Bowie smiled and nodded, then went to find streamers. The remaining kids went to work on their respective responsibilities. Cyrus found TJ by the computer on the front desk right after Bex's instructions. "You got here fast."

TJ didn't look away from the screen, where a tab was open and the pamphlets were ready to print. "I'm gay. I walk fast."

Cyrus felt the word in his bones. He'd never met anyone so comfortable with saying it so loud and openly, especially when referring to themselves.

"Isn't that just a stereotype?" Cyrus asked.

"Apparently not. You wouldn't know, though, would you? You seem to stereotype people a lot."

Cyrus was taken back by TJ's sudden change in mood. "Are you still mad about me being mad about the Reed thing?"

TJ ignored that. Cyrus' question remained unanswered as TJ collected the sheets while they printed, one after another after another.

"One hundred people better show up," he mumbled under his breath.

Cyrus looked up from his shoes "What?"

As TJ closed the tab, he repeated, "One hundred people better show up. If not, this would be a huge damn waster of paper."

"Yeah. And energy. Can you imagine how long it's gonna take us to fold all of these perfectly?" Cyrus said.

"Not my fault you can't do anything right." TJ uttered, then froze, realizing what he'd just said.

"TJ," Cyrus whispered. The other boy's words stung. A lot. How was this the same guy who'd taught him how to to a somersault when he felt silly for not being able to? How was this the same friend who'd given him the courage to take a chocolate chocolate chip muffin when he couldn't bring himself to do it? How was this the same friend who'd helped him swing high when he was afraid to?

"Cyrus, I am so, so sorry-" TJ tried to reach out and grasp Cyrus' shoulder, elbow, hand, anything - to keep him from leaving, but it was too late, the damage had been done.

"No ,TJ." Cyrus stepped out of his reach. "You can do this yourself. I wouldn't help, right? I'm incapable. I mess up everything I try." he choked on his words, struggling to get them past the lump in his throat. Everyone was looking at the scene taking place now, and Cyrus ran blindly to the kitchen. Bex dropped the spatula she was holding and gathered him in her arms.

"Shh, it's okay. You're okay."

He hadn't noticed he'd been crying until he touched his face and found tears. Marty didn't want Cyrus to be more embarrassed than he was, so he continued measuring ingredients for the cupcakes he and Bex were making.

"Want to talk about it?"Bex leaned back from the hug she'd engulfed Cyrus in.

Cyrus sniffed and shook his head. Bex helped him up and wiped his face with the sleeve of her black hoodie that said, "#1 MOM". Cyrus thought it was fitting in that moment, since she treated him like a son.

"That's alright. How about you help us? You can even lick the spatula after we make the

icing,"she offered.

"That sounds great."Cyrus smiled. When Bex patted him on the shoulder and returned to making the icing, he joined Marty at the other counter in the relatively small room. Marty saw him

approaching, and picked up his phone to show Cyrus a picture. It was the trans flag.

"This is the flag I'm most looking forward to putting on the cupcakes," he said.

"Why?"

"Because it's my flag."

He tore his eyes away from the picture. Marty had tears in his eyes. Cyrus had a sudden urge to hug the boy in front of him. So he did. "Thanks for telling me, Marty."

Marty held him back. "Thanks for being such a great friend. I trust you, Cy."

"Can I trust you back?" Cyrus asked, though he already knew the answer.

"Absolutely."

"I'm gay."

"Huh."

"What do you mean, 'huh'?"

Marty laughed. "I kind of assumed that."

"Oh."

Marty handed him a measuring cup. "Grab the milk from the fridge."

Cyrus took it and did as he was told. The next ten minutes went that way; Marty reading the recipe, Cyrus getting the ingredients Marty told him to, Marty mixing them in, moving on to the next step, and so on. The silence between instructions wasn't awkward, it was comfortable. Bex had left the kitchen to do something unknown to the boys and hadn't heard their conversation earlier. After the cupcakes were placed in the oven, they began working on the half-made icing Bex had left in the middle of the process. 

As they poured and mixed the colouring, Cyrus asked, "How could you tell I was gay?"

Marty shrugged. "You walk fast."  
________________

"TJ, we need to talk." Jonah demanded, startling TJ as he folded pamphlets. He was on his 42nd, which he knew because he was bored enough that he was actually keeping track.

"Do we?" he pretended not to care, but on the inside, he felt awful. He knew what Jonah wanted to talk about, and he knew he didn't want to talk about it. Yes, he felt rueful, but he couldn't help acting nonchalant about it; as if he didn't care about how his words affected Cyrus. It was what he always did when he wanted to hide his emotions.

"We do. Now come." Jonah tugged on TJ's hoodie sleeve.

"Fine." he rolled his eyes.

The two boys found privacy on a bench outside of Cloud 10. "What did you say to Cyrus?" Jonah

asked.

"Nothing." TJ said, feigning boredom, when in reality, he hated himself for what he did.

"Don't lie to me, Kippen." Jonah seethed.

"What, and tell the truth, which will make you hate me more?" TJ spat back.

"I don't think that's possible." Jonah said. "You've screwed up pretty bad in my book."

"Yeah, I sorta got that impression." TJ laughed bitterly.

"I care about Cyrus, unlike some people. So I want to know what you did to make him upset. That way I can understand what he's feeling."

"Whatever. I told him he can't do anything right." TJ winced at his own words. "Happy now?"

Jonah was speechless. As TJ's words sunk in, he was filled with anger. "What is wrong with you? I thought you changed! I tried to be your friend!" he stood up, beside himself with rage. "You don't deserve anyone's friendship. You deserve this!" he leaned forward, brought his hand back, and backhanded TJ across the face. The blond boy's head snapped to the side, and he almost stumbled off the bench from the impact. He held his face with one hand, and steadied himself with the other.

Jonah's hand stung from hitting TJ so hard, but he didn't realize at first. He was dumbstruck by his own action. Something had taken over him; something he'd suppressed for too long, something he hadn't buried deep enough. His hands shook, and his knees were jelly, and he couldn't think with the blood pounding in his ears.TJ opened his mouth with a violent cringe of pain to speak.

"What the hell just happened?"

But the voice that said those words belonged to Buffy, who'd witnessed the whole thing through the window while taping up the poster.


End file.
